Misinterpretation

With days rolling into nights the gaping hole of your absence became evident. My restless soul longed for the warmth you provided daily. It’s so cold in December. December 13, How could I forget the day

With days rolling into nights the gaping hole of your absence became evident. My restless soul longed for the warmth you provided daily. It’s so cold in December.

December 13, How could I forget the day my love. My love to my calamity. How could you break me so easily? But what was there to break? This nothingness which took a leap of faith, just to crash. Burn. We’re Done. How cold is December?

February 04, If I scream I love you everyday will you get the picture? Where does a love go when you end a love that never had a beginning? I feel nothing, nothing but the love I have for you. Why won’t it go away? I can’t even feel pain.. after all the razor blades and self inflicted craze, why can’t I feel anymore pain? My mind is blank. I am nothing.

Goodbye world.

I failed. I’m still here.

March 13, Soulmate and life partner. I often confused the two, created a merge and settled them for one. Today I learned the difference. Where do you fall my love?

In one there’s a physical separation. You took yourself away, so why is my spirit dead? Why is my mind still blank? Why is my soul numb? My soul is so numb. I am empty. I think it’s time to try again.

June 04, 18 years. I survived for 18 years. Unfortunately. I still feel the pain. I wept at midnight. When will this be over? 18 whole years? Please, I hope I don’t see 18 more. I feel again. The pain is overwhelming. I made it without you. Without you. I can never forget you. It’s almost like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly. Every time I dance it still hurts, but I will never stop dancing.

Today, I never stopped dancing. I still feel the pain, the pain that has added depth to my performance, authenticity to my character, eloquence to my story. In simpler words, I found myself. Pain changed me. Your pain. How do I thank you?

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